All over the blogosphere I see posts with titles such as “my fictional boyfriends” and “fictional boy crushes”. I’m pretty sure I wrote one myself not too long ago (although now I can’t find the link, so maybe I didn’t???). At any rate, today I was planning on writing about my fictional girlfriends, but it turned out that most of the characters i’m attracted to in fiction would make TRASH girlfrieneds, so instead I’ve turned it into a date or bang list, since realistically, for half of these characters I’m only looking for a hookup, nothing more.
1. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)
DATE! Hermione Granger was my idol since forever, and I’d always hated the fact that she was with Ron, but didn’t really want her with Harry either. Now, I realize that I actually just wanted her to end up with Ginny, but I mean I guess that’s a moot point. She’s intelligent, confident, and would be a ton of fun to date, despite the fact that she’s probably a bit of a control freak.
2. Sam (Final Girls)
Hookup. This is probably where you start highkey questioning my decision making skills (yes, already, on #2) because Sam is not somebody that most people want to hookup with. But somehow, while reading, I was captured by her mystery and the enigma which was her personality. I’m not sure why I get crushes on people like this, but here we are.
3. Teresa (The Maze Runner)
Hookup. For those of you that read the books, yes, I’m talking about Teresa through all three books. She may not have had the highest moral outlook on everything, but she was headstrong, went for what she wanted, and wasn’t afraid of a fight. (Also yes, I’m the worsts human ever with my gif picking)
4. Calixte (Strange the Dreamer)
DATE! Okay, I know Calixte is only a side character in this book, and she pretty much disappeared for large parts of it, but whenever she showed up, I couldn’t help thinking “oh my god she’s so cool” literally the entire time she was in the scene. It was almost distracting. If the opportunity were to present itself, there would be a 100% chance that I’d choose Calixte over Lazlo. Every time.
5. Johanna (The Hunger Games)
Hookup. SHE’S SUCH A BADASS OMGGGGG. When I watched the movie and Johanna came on screen, Super Straight Me (HA!) had a panic attack as it felt its identity being threatened. She’s so confident and outspoken and there’s a super high chance she’s actually a lesbian soooo
6. Jude (I’ll Give you the Sun)
DATE! My mother would kill me if she read this. She’s convinced that Jude is a selfish good for nothing prick, and doesn’t understand why I don’t relate more with Noah. Well, mom, if you’re reading this (which I don’t think you do but I mean you never know), I do relate more to Noah, but I sort of want to date Jude. and yes, I do have terrible taste* in girls don’t ask me why.
*my girlfriend is fantastic and perfect and fabulous in every way, and in this statement I only mean fictional girls.
7. Diondra (Dark Places)
Hookup. Diondra, for any of you that have read the book, is a psycho. Like absolutely and totally without question a psycho. But I frikken loved her. there was something about the way that she was so utterly sexual while not being a slut and not giving a shit what anyone else thought that made me fall for her, even if I knew that nobody in their right mind should get anywhere near her. Also Fun Fact: I’ve never seen this movie, even though it’s one of my favorite books ever.
8. Alaska Young (Looking for Alaska)
DATE! I’m trying to end on a wholesome note with dating, so here’s probably the nicest thing I’ve said today –>I mean as messed up as Alaska is, I love her personality and outlook on life as it was shown in the beginning of the book, and I truly think that we would have had a lot to talk about. she seems like someone who you could lay in bed with and just stare at the ceiling debating life, and be perfectly content with that.
who are your fictional girl crushes? would you delete anyone from my list? are you currently questioning me as a person? whatever it is, i want to hear from you! comment below!